Great Balls Of FireI Wanna Get Out Of Hell
by hibiyuru
Summary: Orochimaru ends the world and all the genins and sensei's are sent to hell since there is no space in heaven. some romance late on in fic maybe in chapter 5...Read n Review
1. The Reason

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

I'm very happy about the responses I've had from my last stories I'm glad that people actually like them, I know it's bad to do this but I'm going to start a new story, it's been in my head for a while and I can't get it out so I'm going to write it out. I hope it hasn't been done before and I also hope you like it! (p.s. there will be some romance later on in a few chapters' time.")

It's about how Orochimaru ends the world and all the genins and their teachers are sent to hell. I hope I don't blaspheme in any way, please don't scold me!

Sorry about any spelling of grammar mistakes.

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Great Balls Of Fire...I Wanna Get Out Of Hell. 

Chapter One: The Reason

"Sasuke- kun. Why do you think you're here?" Satan boomed in a loud voice.

"Because you are a Baka?" came the bored reply

"Precisely, I mean what the hell are you talking about. It's because you're too rude." Satan was furious that someone was taking the mick out of him; Satan was going to punish him real bad. "God has not allowed you to go into the gates of heaven because you are an insolent little boy."

"So why on earth am I here?" asked a timid Hinata, she didn't like hell one bit, but mind you who did?

"Hinata-sama, from the main house you indeed are a good child, but there wasn't enough room in heaven for you, my apologies but God is building another heaven for you, I hope you're stay in hell is a nice one, if you are uncomfortable in any way I will send my servant 'Kakashi -san' to help you if you need any thing."

"I'm not you servant, don't be ridiculous." said Kakashi. "Why am I here?"

"Kakashi-san as you're punishment for reading 'Come Come Paradise' you shall be my servant or else I will make you wash all my pet baboons' bums. Do I make my self clear?"

"... I was reading them to widen my reading vocabulary."

"Silence, in the court."

"This isn't a court Satan" said Sasuke.

"So why am I here," asked Tenten "What are you going to accuse me of doing, I'm a good girl."

"Do you think that I am oblivious to the things you do when you think people are not looking?"

"Eh?"

"I know about how you stab insects when you think no one is looking, and the way you stole my evil laugh after killing them." Shino was now looking at Tenten like he wanted to beat the living day light out of her. But everyone else gasped at this revelation.

"What no witty rejoinders today Tenten?" asked Satan.

"Let me guess am I here because I held the grudge against the main house for so long?" asked Neji

"Yes, well done you were always the clever one" said Satan, by now everyone was looking at Satan like he was some sort of crazy deluded fool, no one else bothered to ask why they were there, they just accepted it. "So until God finished building heaven you will have a chance to redeem you're self, there will be several challenges and at the end I've even had the decency to plan a hell's ball for you. So challenge number one is to build some ice sculptures, these sculptures will represent something in your life that has great importance. I shall banish you to the ice realm." Everyone looked at him in disbelief. They had ripped the sleeves of their shirts since it was burning hot in hell, now they were going to an ice realm? "Muhahahaaa, Muhahahahaahaaaaaa." Satan was going to have a field day with these genins.

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So tell me what you think, this chapter wasn't that funny...o well I promise the next one will be ten times funnier other wise I will do ten laps around my block on my hands. 


	2. The Ice sculptures

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Thanks to the two people who gave me nice reviews:

moonlightpath- who reads all my stories no matter how crap they are!

And

Lala to the power of 2- I hope you like this chapter!

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Great Balls of Fire 

Chapter Two: The Ice sculptures

Satan had sent all the genins to the ice realm. It was cold, freezing cold. Everyone was busy reflecting on what ice sculpture they were going to make. It really did get everyone reflecting on what was important to them

Sauske was sitting down on the ice bench that he had made in five minutes flat. His chin was propped on his hand in his trade mark position "Ohayo Sasuke-kun" came the annoying voice. "Nice bench, can I sit down with you please?" She took a seat any way so what was the point in asking?

"Shut-up, you're annoying." why couldn't she just leave him alone. He really found her so annoying, he cared for her to an extent but he didn't care for her sitting next to him. "Can you go away please Sakura; other wise Ino will see you here and both of you will start bugging me."

"Fine I was starting to get a wet bum sitting on here anyway." She skipped off cheerfully although he didn't know why, 'Isn't she supposed to be brooding when I reject her?' he thought...'ah well, who cares.'

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Ino was in the corner secretly eyeing up Shikamaru, who was lazily hacking at the piece of ice, they had been there for two hours and he was already half way though his sculpture. It was a pineapple; Shikamaru was obviously very self cantered. Ino was making an ice sculpture of a lipstick, lip stick was very important to her; it stopped her from looking crap in the morning. She even made a poem about it; it went something like this, 

"Oh lipstick Oh lipstick thou art my love

Oh lipstick oh lipstick thou art ever giving

You paint your love on my lips

Thou art the only who shall give me a kiss...well except for Shika or Sasuke, maybe I'll make an exception"

Hinata, although she didn't have to do an ice sculpture did one any way she was doing a sculpture of all her genin friends. She was busy hacking away at her marvellous piece of art when she didn't notice a certain blond ogling at her. Naruto was amazed at Hinata's artistic abilities, he wished that he could be good at something like that, he looked down at his lame sculpture of the kohona leaf, and well at least he tried.

Shino was obviously sculpturing bugs, all sorts of bugs, big ones little ones, ants, butterflies, caterpillars, cockroaches, locust, grass hoppers, you name it he was making it.

Kiba was making a dog.

Tenten was making weapons all sorts. Her kunai was very extravagant and much much bigger that any other sculptors made, Lee was making a large life size Sakura tree, declaring his everlasting love for Sakura at the bottom he made a fallen petal and engraved, 'Lee and Sakura for ever, you cannot refuse my love for you, p.s. I love Gai-sensei.'

Neji had made a caged but obviously he had finished before every one else just to show how superior he was as opposed to everyone else.

Sasuke, after so much thinking decided that he would sculpture Itachi with a kunai in his heart, as a special effects thing he drizzles some strawberry sauce which froze and looked like blood. Need you even ask about what Sakura was making? She was making a life size Sasuke-kun. Sasuke look like he wanted to smash it down into a million pieces.

Choji was making a buffet section and Kakashi was making a 'Come Come Paradise' book shelf thingy thing.

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So by the time everyone was finished Satan reappeared. "Hello everybody, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that I will have a little more time to torment you but the bad news for you is that god has delayed making heaven, he was looking down from the ice realm and he saw the lack of care that you lot have for one another, until you mange to get along together he will not resume the 'making heaven project' the only people he was satisfied with were Hinata and Naruto, who sculptured something to do with Kohona." 

"Satan this is retarded." said Tenten.

"You dare say that to the great Satan?" He boomed. "That's it you're weapons are going to be confiscated for a month."

"Ha-ha..." said Neji

"Piss off you loser."

"Tenten, I will not tolerate this kind of language in hell." said Satan, interrupting Neji and Tenten's glaring competition.

"Oh get a life Satan." She said.

"That's it I banish you and Neji to the naughty corner."

"Why me?" said Neji. "I didn't do anything wrong"

"You provoked her."

"I did not."

"That's it you're answering back so therefore you go to the naughty corner."

"...stupid red freak" he muttered.

"I heard that, that is racism...Anyway well done everyone else except Sasuke and Kakashi, Dismissed."

"Dismissed to where?" asked Sasuke.

"Why...to you're bed room of course." said Satan. With that he disappeared and everyone was zapped in to their rooms.

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Kakshi's room: Wow this is pretty neat, he thought. But why does Satan always pick on me? 

Kakashi's room was Orange and his bed had the 'Come Come Paradise' quilt cover on it, on the bed spread was the whole story written out. Oh my god this must me a dream com true, he thought. He threw himself down on his bed and looked up at the ceiling, there was a poster of Kurenai in a very sleazy out fit, and Kakashi would sleep like a baby tonight.

Sasuke's room: He didn't care much for the design of the room, although Satan did have pretty good taste. Sasuke walked over to the TV, he flicked through the TV guide and found 'Itachi's death- 12:00am - Channel 666' He flick over to the channel and he found his brother being brutally murdered... yea now this was more like it.

Sakura's room: It was pink with posters of her dear Sasuke-kun. Yep, she was happy.

Choji's room: Crisp as wall paper, he began licking it down, this was the life.

Naruto's room: "Ramen Ramen Everywhere" sang Naruto so loudly. 'Hey keep it down over there' he heard Sasuke yell through the wall.

Ino's room: Her room had a make-up kit and that was satisfactory enough.

Shikamaru's room: It had a spa, and cloudy wall paper. "Yes now I can laze around for real."

Lee's room: It was very feminine, with pink Sakura tree's...

Hinata's room: It was fluffy with a big Naruto ramen bill board covering one enitre wall. She silently thought to her self that it gave her the creeps although she did fancy him she didn't think she would fancy the idea of having a huge poster of his face staring at her while she slept.

The Naughty Corner: The naughty corner was literally just a corner, it streached on for miles and miles, there were no other corners. Neji and Tenten were separated, not uttering a single word to each other.

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this took me super long, its not that funny but I'm going to try my best, I might take a bit long to update now...if you have any tips let me know, but please no flamers 

its rather uneventfull but im trying to build up to something


	3. The Decision

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

Thanks for all the reviews: Thanks jay-blink-azn for both reviews :)

And also thanks to Lee-sanOnee-san, you guys should really check out her story please review it cos she says that if she doesn't get at least for reviews she will stop writing...and we don't want that to happen now do we?

I'm sorry moonlightpath for forgetting, actually I miss out loads of people's room but since you said so, I have updated the last chapter.

Tart and Pudding are my fav words...random? Read this chapter then you'll know the meaning of the word

Also there is a part about Hinata and bill-boards to understand it you have to read the updated previous chapter it's the last paragraph...I think.

I really don't mean to offend anyone when I write what I do and sorry if you think it is rude. If you dont like me using the word 'God' then instead of reading 'God' replace it with 'the devine power' or somthing likethat.

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Great Balls Of Fire 

Chapter Three: The Decision

A load muffled bawling sound was coming from outside the red room. It sounded like crying, but who could it be?

"Shut up or I'll hit you again." Kurenai had heard a voice, her tiny feet padded against the burning ground. Being a jounin she learned how to survive in the worst of conditions, at this point slippers in hell were for the weak. She felt the painful sensation of the heat run up her feet and legs. She padded towards the noise.

"But these people are nice you cant'-"

"I am the great Shin-Santan; do not answer me back ever again. You will tell these genin, chunnin and jounin people just what I have told you, and then you will torture them for ever and ever and ever...Muhahahahahaaaaa."

"Yes master." Kurenai peeped through the door...'Satan is...crying?' she thought silently, 'who is he talking to' Kurenai peeped a little harder only to find Satan peering in to a mirror with shimmering tears falling down his now beetroot red face. Kurenai felt sorry for him as she saw his dominant self looking down on him in the mirror. 'Shin-Satan' she thought, her mother had told her about Shin-Satan in her bed time stories but naturally Kurenai thought it was a lie. What should she do? Go away or keep watching.

Shin-Satan had spotted her, too late. Her decision was already made for her. "Come forth, you with the red eyes." Kurenai walked forward. "What did you hear us speak of?"

"Dude, Shin-Satan, you sure do talk posh for an evil person" said Kurenai sticking her tongue out.

"Silence! In the court."

"Err, this isn't a court." said Satan.

"See these genins have already polluted you're mind."

"Shin-Satan, you should rest otherwise you will become weak, the mirror will shatter from you're beauty, brother."

"You are right. I shall rest." with that Shin-Satan's image shimmered out of the mirror. The only people left in the room were Kurenai and Satan, who was still crying great dollops of tears. It was quite a sight thought Kurenai inwardly.

She brought her hand to pat him on his back when he flinched and cried, "Doooooon't touch me." Hiding her evil snigger she was trying to compose she self.

"What is Shin-Satan going to do to us?"

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Sasuke woke up feeling refreshed from last night; he really had slept like a baby. The video played in his mind over and over. This was more like heaven than he- 

Just a he thought these words he felt a weight push down on him. Fan girls were jumping through the wall all toppling over him, it's like someone had done a kage bushin no jutsu. He had no time to think they were all shouting at him, "Sasuke-kun, Sasuke-kun will you sign my bra?"

"Like no way, Sophia you're like such a slut...weren't you into that Neji guy last year? I like heard he was put in the like naughty corner with that hoe Tenten, who knows what they're doing together."

"Push of fat nose he's like so mine."

"Uh like no way, he'd like never ever like, like you, you're too much of a tart."

"No you are."

"No you are, freaking tart." All the fan girls were jumping in, the walls may as well be invisible for all Sasuke cared, no they were coming in there was nout, nada,nothing that he could do. He had an idea. Harem no jutsu...no just how did it go again? His eyes went blood red with three blades around the jet black pupil, he had activated the sharingan in an attempt to recall the hand seal...for the love of god it was only one hand seal and he couldn't remember it. Ah man, forget that. "Kawarimi no jutsu." he shouted and a teddy bear was left in his place. He managed to get away while the air head bimbo fan girls searched for him. "Eh? Nani?" One girl was looking around with question marks floating around her head. Meanwhile all the other girls were grabbing all of Sasuke's belongings to 'treasure'. Sasuke looked back, damn they stole his boxers...all of them, what was he going to wear.

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Naughty Eternity Corner: 

"Dum di di dum, doom didi di, dum didi dum doom da doom...la-la- cultivate you hunger" her stomach was growling at this point "...befooooor you ideeeeeeeealise" Tenten was singing to herself, out of tune. Neji had made earmuffs from the fluffy white carpet that had seem to go on for miles and miles. He truly was getting pissed of with her noise; he didn't understand why the girl insisted on singing when she truly couldn't. Tenten turned to Neji who was busy adjusting his ear muffs. 'SOB thinks he's better then me.' she thought silently.

She began to sing louder, her voice more shrill. Yes to Neji this definitely was indeed hell! He would have to get his own back on her, but how...

* * *

Sakura was holding various dresses in front of her. "Hmm I wonder what Sasuke-kun will think of this dress, the Satan ball will becoming up soon so I wonder when he will ask me out." 

"Don't hold you're breath forehead girl, he will most likely choose me." Ino was wearing a dress in which Sakura's opinion was 'knock out', she's not a lesbian or anything but when Sakura looked into Ino sapphire blue eyes, she knew Ino was right. Stupid Sakura, Ino thought about how her dear friend underestimated herself so.

* * *

Hinata got up from her deep slumber; she had eventually fallen asleep after trying so hard. Those pretty blue eyes were staring at her and she didn't feel at ease, not one bit. She fished in a chest of draw after she got up and decided that she would cover up the bill-board horror. She found some tip-ex, it would have to do. She started with the face since it bothered her the most, the ramen was ok with her, she grabbed the biggest stool she could find and she was now inking in the eyes, she leaned towards the wall and she blushed as she thought that, this was the closest she would ever get to Uzumaki Naruto. As she had finished inking the eyes she realised that the eyes looked pearly white like her own, is that what their kids would look like? She looked at the poster more carefully now, she must seem like his stalker or something. She shook the tip-ex then realised there was no more. She was franticly searching for some now..."god forbid if any one were to walk in here." she said. 

Suddenly a whips of golden smoke appeared. "Did some one say my name?" asked God

"Err...yes...sorry to disturb you but...but there is a poster here and I don't want it." Wow God is here? She thought.

"Child, please tell me that you did not call me in here, just for some stupid bill-board."

"Sorry god. Please help me."

"Ok, since you asked so nicely I will. Repeat after me: Hocus Pokus Lemme fokus, I wana get that posta outta here, hip hop hippedy hop."

"Hocus Pokus Lemme fokus, I wana get that posta outta here, hip hop hippedy hop." copied Hinata word for word.

God's sweat dropped making a big puddle "She actually said it." he muttered. "Dear child you are so stupid and innocent so for this one time I will make it disappear, just do not disturb me ever again or you will be stuck in hell, oh by the way tell Satan that his fun shall be over soon because heaven should be reconstructed in about a weeks time."

"Ok, goodbye and thanks."

"Poof" and he disappeared.

"Uh...he...he forgot to remove the bill board." Oh well she thought she would just have to search the other rooms for paint and stuff but for now she would hang a curtain over it. Great load of help God was.

* * *

Naruto was still sleeping in his room, his pillow was ramen scented so Naruto was having a hard time getting up. All of a sudden Sasuke ran into the room, sweat pouring down his face. Sasuke was on the run again. "Dobe wake up." he was franticly shaking Naruto now. Wait a minute, what's that smell and why is Naruto drooling in his sleep? 'Sniff sniff' "No way Satan gave you ramen scented pillows. So not fair, why could I have Turkey scented pillows?" 

"Go away Sasuke-teme." Naruto mumbled.

"Dobe, Satan's serving up ramen for breakfast."

"Nani? Ramen." Naruto was sat bolt up right.

"Naruto I need you're help."

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I'll rite more next time hope you liked this chapter, Ima bit stuck for the time being but I'm sure inspiration will come sooner rather then later. 

It really does brighten up a girls day when she gets reviews...


	4. The Days Go By

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Satan, Angels or God

Thanks everybody...I got what tons of reviews for the last chapter so thanks a bunch and keep on reviewing. GUYS SERIOSLY IM GOINGTO HELL FOR WRITING THIS CHAPTER...so u best review

Tsugtha

Kaze of the Sand

MissEcoFreakTheDarkPrecusor

Bakuryuuha

jay-blink-azn32

moonlightpath

angstluver

Lala to the power of 2

Again sorry if I offend anyone

Also Read my other story 'Wash or Wipe'

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Note for sane-sammi if you reading this...thanks for the reviews for the poem+ Blackmail and Deadlines...If it is ok with you I will use you're lil China poem also you should post you're ramen poem...you're story was gd too!

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Great Balls Of Fire

Chapter Four: The days go by...

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It had been seven days since they had been in hell. In the naughty corner Tenten had started drawing on the walls with some brown substance that lay a couple of miles down the room; she wondered how it got there. Neji was coming back from his 'morning' walk when he found Tenten painting on the walls, it was a picture or Neji collapsing onto the ground while Tenten was singing, wait a minute, where did she get that brown stuff. "Tenten what is that stuff you're painting with?"

"Oh it's some brown stuff that I found while walking around." Oh crap thought Neji, Oh holy crap. Neji walked back to the place he had walked earlier on. He should have known something was missing; thank god Tenten wasn't handling the stuff with her bare hands. Should he tell her what it was?

"Um Tenten I have to tell you something."

"What is it now?" Tenten snapped.

"Actually its nothing."

"Why waste my time then, spit it out?"

"No really I changed my mind." Nope Neji was never going to tell...well not with her acting this way.

* * *

God was up in heaven looking down in hell. He could see everyone; he could see how they were behaving and how they had no respect for one another. He could see Neji being mean to Tenten and visa versa, Sasuke was running away from his fan girls, why couldn't the boy embrace them for once. God grabbed his wand and casted more fan girls onto Sasuke. He looked in Hinata's room and sighed. Why could people be more like her, Hinata was currently nursing and ill bird back to life. "Fly my pretty" she squeaked, "FLY, goddamit". God had turned to Choij who was choking on a gob stopper. Waving his wand he made seven giant turkey burgers appear before Choji. Choji was suffering, "O-cchh Tr-keeeyy bbur-gulp" he swallowed the gob stopper and it caused a large pain to occur in his chest. He moved over to the burger. Predatorily he slithered towards it just when he grabbed one all off them disappeared. 'Jeez' he thought 'being in the wilderness must be getting to my head'.

"Tut tut" God said, "Humans will never learn'" He turned towards Sakura and Ino who were brushing each others hair, raising his wand he accidentally caused bubblegum get stuck in their hair. "Jeez, they're going to have a fit now, I can feel it." He turned away to Naruto who was training with the other boys. 'God these humans are so boring' he thought to himself.

* * *

Satan was spraying red body paint all over his body. The paint he had on before was starting to peal off and a lilac colour was starting to become more visible. Satan took of his red pants only to reveal his purple butt. He was busy painting when he didn't hear someone walk in; suddenly he heard a high pitch scream. He turned towards the person only to find some thick eye browed freak. They continued screaming, it was a surprise no one heard, and suddenly the eyebrow person feinted due to the lack of oxygen intake. "He saw my purple butt." whispered Satan.

5mins later

The person with the big eyebrows woke up, he saw Satan and was about to start screaming again but he found that he could only squeak his words out. "What's you name?" asked Satan, "I don't believe I've seen you around here before, come to think about it, you do look like that Lee a lot, is he you're son."

"Ohhh I can only dweem." Gai sounded like he had sucked in helium; he was staring into the blankness of Satan's eyes oh how he wished Lee was his son.

"So-err what's a guy like you doing in a place like this?"

"Errm...ehe he he / blush/..." Oh could this be the start of a new relationship for Satan?

* * *

The angels were busy making heaven when Lucifer the son of Shin Satan walked in. He began to run his fingers down the naked statues that surrounded the gardens. Angel Gabe floated towards Lucifer. "Hello Lulu how you doing today, you got the goods?"

"DONT CALL ME THAT...Yea I do"

"Good, this work is really wearing me out." said Gabe taking the energy pills. Suddenly they turned away from each other when they saw a woman with a big chest walk past. She looked a bit like a hippy, some one had braded her long blond hair, and you could see her white scalp, the same white that matched her long flowing robes. She was wondering around aimlessly, it really suck being in heaven when she didn't even know anyone, she felt so lonely that she wished for anyone to come, including Jiraya. Her cat like brown eyes look full of sadness, even Lucifer and Gabe felt sorry for her, you're supposed to be happy in heaven right?

She tossed a coin into the fountain. She wished for a friend. No one came. She went to her personal little shack and her servants, Genma and Raido ran to her feet. "What can we do for you to day oh great one?" asked Genma.

"Will you play monopoly with me please?" She asked

"Sorry it is not in our job description but we do a mean foot massage, we also listen to you're problems to...if you want us to that is?" said Raido he really hated this job, people were so demanding always wanting to play stupid games, if they wanted to have fun and play with their friends they should go to hell.

"Ok" said Tsunade in a disappointed voice. The two Anbu soldiers gave her a foot massage and she spilled her heart out about how she was so lonely. They started to develop wrinkles on their foreheads as they listen to her whining away, occasionally she would ask them questions to check if they were listening.

Genma's hands were aching, he had a plan though, he was thinking of away to send himself and Raido back to hell.

* * *

Sasuke was panting, girls were still following him, suddenly he found a black door, he decided to go inside, it was a big room with mirrors looked all over the glass box, hey wasn't there a film with a guy in a room like this? He remembered watching a film with his dad with some dude called 'Bruce Lee'. He walk into every corner exploring the place, serenity, there were no girls here, her would have stayed in the room if it wasn't for his stomach rumbling. He walked towards the door. Wait, where was the door?

Sasuke was on the verge or panic...holy crap "Some one help me" he yelled. Suddenly he felt someone's presents.

"Hello Sasuke-kun, I'm here to save you." said the girl with long black hair. She was wearing long flowing robes much like Tsunade's. "Take my hand." she breathed out.

"Nooooooo...mummy help me" cried Sasuke.

The girl vanished and in her place stood and an angry fan girl. Sasuke ran around the room and the fan girl chased him, the mirrors were beginning to haunt him. Flashes of the girl zoomed across the mirrors. Sasuke was terrified.

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Yea the Tsunade bit wasn't that funny but please **READ N REVIEW**


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